Mediation

Mediating Custody Matters: Divorce, Post-Divorce and International Parental Child Abduction

Mediation may be a preferred path to resolution of family conflicts. Litigation often provides only a short term solution, and the judicial system sometimes proves a poor decision maker for what are private, ongoing and changing family circumstances. Who better to make decisions for a child then the parents who can witness firsthand the child’s needs  as they mature and grow? When parents are able to set aside destructive emotions of anger and retaliation, and work together to create an agreement that meets the needs of the entire family, a win-win and long term solution can be reached creating stability for all family members.

Child custody disputes are among one of the most difficult areas of Family Law, involving established principals of law fraught with emotions that often cloud clear decision making. Navigating the path of mediation is appropriate so long as both parents come to the table willing to listen to each other, set aside adversarial motives, and honesty assess the needs and best interests of the child(ren). If there has been a history of child abuse or neglect or domestic violence then the mediator and the parties must assess whether mediation is an appropriate forum.

International parental child abduction cases provide their own set of unique issues when it comes to creating a workable agreement regarding the upbringing and care of the child(ren). Whilst it is possible to move past the disruption that the abduction has caused, often escalated emotions of fear and retribution create an initial impasse to the mediation process. It is possible, with skilled mediation services and parents willing to problem solve and create a co-parenting custody agreement, to construct a cross border agreement that works. Building trust between the parties after an abduction has occurred is paramount to making these international agreements work, and litigation does not foster this outcome . Understanding the history of the family dynamic and the circumstances surrounding the abduction are paramount in the mediator’s initial inquiries. The decision as to whether parents can be together for the mediation, separated or whether it is appropriate to conduct the mediation telephonically or through video-conferencing must not be minimized. Equally, as assessment of how well the parties understand a common language must be made; often the nuances of language can be missed if one of the parties are not conversing in their native tongue.

If you hire Family Law International to represent you, we will ask and discuss with you whether mediation is an appropriate avenue to use in resolving custody or abduction matters. We will query whether it is appropriate for the minor child(ren) to participate in mediation, and if so, to what extent? Have the child(ren) has been subjected to “undue influence”,  or is such an evaluation better left to an expert?

When hired to mediate a custody or abduction matters, the attorneys at Family Law International will assess matters of abuse, neglect and domestic violence as thresholds before formal mediation begins. Further inquiries also consider the involvement of the child(ren), the psychological and emotional health of the child(ren) and the parents, language and cultural matters, and overall family needs and dynamics.

The goal of mediation is to solve immediate visitation and communication matters and to lay a foundation for the family unit to function in a manner that serves the best interests of the child despite the broken parental relationship. As such, once the mediator has completed preliminary fact gathering and basic decisions have been made, the more detailed issues can be addressed: dual citizenship and multiple passports; travel planning and cost; telephone and skype access; visits based on the school calendar, summer activities, and parents’ work schedules; access to extended family members, language classes for child so they reach or retain fluency in both parents’ languages; responsibility for medical care; need for counseling; decision making with regard to disciplinary, educational and religious matters; and finally, procedures for reviewing the agreement if circumstances change.

Both Ms. Langley and Ms. Arnold are members of the American Bar Association Task Force on Mediating International Parental Child Abduction Cases.  Both are experienced mediators and litigators in both custody and abduction matters, and bring knowledge, wisdom and compassion to the mediation process